Do you know why arranged marriages in this part of the world
are successful when they are successful? Although it is neither an expert’s
opinion nor an experiential comment, nonetheless, it’s my observation that puts
the Wife’s humility, patience, sensibility and sacrifice at the top of the list
amongst all other factors.
There is a specific reason why I chose only arranged
marriages here. The love between husband and wife grows slowly (post marriage)
in an arranged marriage especially when there is “jhat mangni pat vyah”.
It’s the woman who has to leave her paternal home to spend the rest of her life
with her newly wedded husband in a new home, with an altogether different
environment. Only another married woman can understand the amount of
adjustments and compromises that she has to make to enable her to lead a
happily married life thereafter.
I once wrote about the glory of mother. But this post is a
salute to all those married women who have accepted their mother-in-laws as
their mother, father-in-laws as their father and their husbands as the one next
to God. The sacrifices that you do, the selflessness that you demonstrate and
the patience that you carry on just the peace, wellness and happiness of both
the families (paternal and husband) is simply unbeatable and unmatched with
everything else in the world.
No matter how much we modernize and advance, some things do
not change. Still, there are differences in the way daughters and
daughter-in-laws are treated in our society. Very few mother-in-laws have
bestowed their motherly nurture and care to their daughter-in-laws. Those who
truly understand “kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi” can relate to this.
Nevertheless, the wife accepts any differential treatment because it is
overpowered by the love for her husband. Once again, an instance of her glory
for the love of her family.
A sincere salute to her sacrifices, compromises, duties and responsibilities.
PS:
My motivation to write this piece comes from
We can
never really know if arranged marriages work. One, because people,
understandably so, find it hard to admit that outsourcing what was possibly the
biggest decision in their lives turned out to be a disaster. I have never come
across many men or women in their 40s to 50s who would readily admit that they
have spent decades with someone they couldn't find love for. Add to that the
exhausting inertia one feels after having expended a tremendous amount of
energy in trying to find some beauty in a loveless bond, day after day. A lot
of people just stick with it because it's tiring to even think of a solution in
light of the deluge of family disapproval they'll be faced with. In light of
how they feel, it's just too late. To an outsider, they might have just
celebrated a silver jubilee, and to them, it could be the 25 years they lost.
